Sol Magazine
www.sol-magazine.org
June 2003 Edition
 © 2003 Sol Magazine


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CONTENTS:

INDEPENDENCE DAY

FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $25.00 electronic book gift certificate.

Fireworks

The show
was late, but as
soon as he agreed to
marry me – Kaboom – the whole sky
lit up.

Elizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA

COMMENTS:  Builds towards the climax with flash and sizzle.  A double surprise, this piece moves from ennui to celebratory sights and sounds on two fronts.  A delightful commentary on the serendipitous timing of a marriage proposal acceptance;  well-broken lines give the poem a feeling of continuity through to the end.  Nice usage of a single word marked off by dashes to just "stop" and enjoy the smile.
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SECOND PLACE - Winner of a $10.00 electronic book gift certificate.
 
Where We Are Now

We're free
We have it all
By killing innocent
Antipathy we have achieved
And lost

Mikaila Zeneth, Ridgeway, ON, CAN

COMMENTS:  Surprises in the last three lines make this a very strong statement, with much to ponder.  Polished, thoughtful.  Particular word choices add to the power of this piece.  Interesting;  The tone of thinking-out-loud gives this piece a musing feeling, in a way of coming to a realization.
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THIRD PLACE
The Meaning of Sovereignty

Freedom
to please ourselves
to choose life paths and mates,
to live full, rich lives.  Freedom, too,
to fail.

SuzAnne C. Cole, Houston, TX, USA

COMMENTS:  The writer leaves the reader with something fundamentally meaningful to ponder.  Interesting approach to the topic.  Beautifully done Cinquain.  An excellent reminder of how our freedom encompasses not just the good things in life, but also the bad ones, and  no life is complete without failure to offset the successes.
============
HONORABLE MENTION
Celebrate

A day
to celebrate
America's birthday;
with flags, sparkles, noise, bands, music,
hot dogs.

Jeanette Oestermyer, Roswell, NM, USA

COMMENTS:  True to the Cinquain form, brief statements build towards a surprising last line.   Amusing in its addition at the very end of "hot dogs," this touches on all the familiar symbols of patriotism, and more.
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EDITOR'S CHOICE
Welcome to Memphis

rainy
Fourth of July
just outside of Graceland
no Elvis but the thunder keeps
clapping

Cindy Tebo, Catawissa, MO, USA

COMMENTS:  Fine example of knowing where to place significance.  Well written Cinquain.  Outstanding work.
============
OTHER POEMS COMMENTED UPON
============
Emancipation Proclamation

At last
Liberated
From a lengthy illness …
Freedom obtained at a minute
Past six

SJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
COMMENTS:  This poem celebrates liberation from personal suffering.  Nicely done!
============
Hearts Sing

Tiny
Hands rise from the
Crowded State Capitol
Lawn waving American flags
Skyward

Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX USA
COMMENTS:  Interesting chronicle of how the seeds of patriotism are planted in our littlest ones.
============
The Forgotten One

Homeless--
the veteran
still waves a tattered flag;
the sky exploding in red, white,
and blue.

Kathy Lippard Cobb, Bradenton, FL, USA
COMMENTS:  The irony of a homeless veteran is driven home in the pathos of the tattered flag and the double-meaning of "blue."  Strong surprise impact at the end.
============
Munificent Lady

Glory,
stand towering,
igniting with vision.
A beacon for the weary ones
assured.

Sharon Rothenfluch Cooper, Portland, OR, USA
COMMENTS:  Strong visually, this Cinquain relies upon the firm rhythm of the form to add interest.
============
Thoughts On the Fourth of July

The bell
of freedom rang
once for us, the people
who came from different ethnics,
the pride.

Ernestine Cowalton, Arlington, VA, USA
COMMENTS:  Direct and succinct.
============
The Tyrant Self

These chains
of desire chafe
the soul, gnaw at the will.
I choose to kill my Self and live.
Freedom.

Lynne Craig, Terrell, TX, USA
COMMENTS:  Revolution within one's own life!  Good word choice in "chafe" and "gnaw."
============
Star Spangled Parade

Peals of
Laughter race down
Our street as the children
Proudly parade on the Fourth of
July

Kay Earnest, Smyrna, GA, USA
COMMENTS:  Children are the stars of this lovely poem.
============
Sacrifice

Freedom
explodes the sky
through a flurry of red,
shooting white stars, making me proud
and blue.

Avonne Griffin, Greer, SC, USA
COMMENTS:  Double-meaning of "blue" adds a strong impact to the end of this Cinquain.
============
Old Glory

Colors
of red, white, and blue
represent our freedom -
fallen heroes whose bravery
remains.

Krista M. Kimmel, Murray, KY, USA
COMMENTS:  Builds tension steadily from beginning to end.
============
My Country

Thundering guns,
Sound of horses' hoofs,
Soldiers seated dressed in best attire,
Thousands standing in salutation to the National Flag,
Happy Independence.

Rewa Malhotra, Bihar, IND
COMMENTS:  Interesting combination of horses and guns reminds the reader of days when war was not fought impersonally with the push of a button from miles away, but face to face.
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Change In Plans

Plans to
celebrate the
Fourth of July change as
mother nature displays her own
fireworks.

Janet Parker - Leesburg, FL  USA
COMMENTS:  This poet reminds the reader that all outdoor plans are contingent on nature's cooperation.
============
Anticipation

Waiting
on the night sky,
juicy watermelon
seeds stuck to bare feet, Boom!, sulfur
smudges.

Kathy Paupore, Kingsford, MI, USA
COMMENTS:  Very clever poem.  The sticky seeds and sulfur smudges add particular interest to this piece.  Nicely done!
============
not just another holiday

joyous
day that lights my
daughter's entry into
vast sky where fireworks always
sparkle

Terrie Leigh Relf, San Diego, CA, USA
COMMENTS:  Personal celebration falling on a day of  national celebration deepens the significance of the day.  Beautiful descriptive  words: joyous, lights, vast, sparkle.
============
Birthday

party house--
eat artichokes and chips,
then open presents all day long
singin'!

Willow Katsumi Relf-Discartin, San Diego, CA, USA
COMMENTS:  Cute.  The unusual combination of foods makes for fun reading.
============
Grasping the American Dream

Wake up,
think what you wish –
ideas as free as air;
for this, many people have died:
Just Cause.

Brady Riddle, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS:  The built in contradiction (ideas as free as air; for this many have died) is a thoughtful approach to the topic.
============
Independence Party

Sweet land
of liberty.
We celebrate your birth
with barbeques, fireworks and
parades.

Eileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD, USA
COMMENTS:  The reporting of meaningful activities in litany style makes for easy reading.
============
On the 4TH Day

White stars
climb the night sky,
rupture in blues and reds,
free-fall to earth in silvered trails--
freedom!

Judith Schiele, Brandon, MS, USA
COMMENTS:  Beautiful word choices.  Well-written.
============
Truth Discovered

I tried
"Do as you please"
As the way to freedom,
But found discipline was even
More so.

Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
COMMENTS:  Excellent first-person portrayal keeps this vital message from sounding preachy.
============
Far Away

Fireworks
light up the sky
the slow descent of flares
flickers red over the silent
bodies.

James M. Thompson, Baytown, TX, USA
COMMENTS:  Grim reminder of the ultimate sacrifice so many have made for their country.  The excellent, brief yet suggestive title drives home a chilling contrast.
============
Guaranteed Freedoms

Our rights --
Free speech and press.
We can pray, demonstrate.
Because Congress shall make no law…
We're free.

Jade Walker, Seattle, WA, USA
COMMENTS:  This poet cleverly invokes the language of the Bill of Rights to reiterate some of our precious freedoms.  Good piece.
============
Protected By Brave Souls

I speak
of that, I feel.
As an American
I have the freedom to do so
with pride!

Daisy Autry Worrock, Abingdon, VA, USA
COMMENTS:   Clearly written to inspire patriotic feeling in the reader.
 


 

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SOL MAGAZINE'S VOLUNTEER STAFF:

CRAIG TIGERMAN, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
BETTY ANN WHITNEY, POETRY EDITOR
PAULA MARIE BENTLEY, FEATURES EDITOR
BONNIE WILLIAMS, ASSISTANT EDITOR
LEO F. WALTZ, WEB MASTER, PRIZE MANAGER, MEDIA EDITOR
MARY MARGARET CARLISLE, MANAGING EDITOR
PROOFREADERS:
MARY BURLINGAME, JANET PARKER




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