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AUGUST'S JUDGE
Claiborne Schley Walsh
AUGUST'S SPONSORS:
LOIS LAY CASTIGLIONI
CRAIG TIGERMAN
KATHLEEN SCHAEFER
CONTENTS:
LETTERS |
FROM -- AVONNE GRIFFIN: I just ordered the book The Triggering Town by Richard Hugo with my electronic gift certificate. It was recommended to me recently by a dear friend and fellow writer. Thank you again for the opportunity to enter such interesting and challenging contests. I look forward to each issue of Sol. |
FROM -- JOHN RICE: I'd like to salute Art & Sol.
I think it's a fine addition to the Magazine.
Note: Both poet and artist, John Rice was Sol Magazine's Poet Laureate in 1999 and 2000. |
FIRST PLACE - A signed copy of "Indigo Avenue," written and donated
by Craig Tigerman, Sol Magazine's Editor-in-Chief.
tangerine sleevesCOMMENTS: Nice use of rhyme scheme in a restrictive form! Good metaphor and usage of ambergris as visual. Restful feeling imparted with a class-A feeling. Beautifully cut lines, anticipating breathlessness at beauty and gorgeousness. Wonderfully descriptive word choices. Excellent dual meaning in "to day's hem" - the whole poem has the air of a prayer. Beautiful personification. Lit with bright language and fine imagery. Lilting and lovely.light:
honey
light,
wine light,
afternoon
fading
to
twilight,
with clouds of
ambergris and
red amber
trailing like
scarves,
fringed shawls,
tangerine
sleeves pinned
down
to day’s
hemElizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA
Bat BanquetsCOMMENTS: Excellent use of alliteration! Quite visual. Enjoyable word play on the old cliche given a new use in "fly by night" A fun read!At
dusk bat-
tal-
ions of
brown bats rise
from their
home
in Carls-
bad Cavern
darkening twi-
light skys as
they de-
part
for a
beetle ban-
quet on
the
fly by
nightLois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX, USA
Maine ReflectionsCOMMENTS: Paints a beautiful, peaceful word picture while adhering to the rules. Good job. Well done. Lots of direct language to portray a true image. Lovely, limpid, with excellent attention to alliteration and assonance.on
Long Lake
sun
ignites
trees water
firefly
brief
window
opens to
recapitu-
late day in
flash fire
fish
ripples
ferry fleet
reflec
tions
into
nightLynette M. Bowen, Webster, TX, USA
Sun SnakeCOMMENTS: This piece imparts a vivid sunset with imagination. A dreamy quality with just enough "hiss" to make it sizzle. Keep it up!Slinks
under-
ground.
Outlook
fades to shade,
brushing
brinks
of light.
Colors splay,
painting heaven
ruby red
in blood.
Man
peeling,
sun hissing;
Rest now.
Sleep
old Sol,
dream.Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
Changing SkyCOMMENTS: Full circle from hot afternoon to night. "One fleeting hour" shows how quickly things can change. Nice work!Sky
so bright
and
blinding;
chromatic
orange
ball.
In one
fleeting hour,
this orb will move
south towards
the still
earth
making
the sky turn
pitch black
as
dark night
falls.Eileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD, USA
Resurrection ConnectionCOMMENTS: Wonderful illustration of cylical Nature's ways with marvelous diction thrown in for good measure. Interesting word pairings imply dual meanings for many phrases.day
gloaming:
spent
crimson;
horizon
bloody
with
old Sol's
protracted
(yet timely) death.
charcoal to
pitch black
night
pleased to
rewind
the tape --
Sol
rises
wholeSJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
Porch ReflectionCOMMENTS: Luxuriously lazy reflection of how life can slip by so easily on a hot summer morning, complete with haze. This writer must have visited the South at some point! Good commentary on how easy it is to forget each minute's passing until it is gone. Beautifully lulling closing linesin
the haze
of
morning
I seldom
notice
how
the day
moves on by
bit by slow bit
until night
sets down
on
my porch
and I've let
it all
slide
into
sleepGary Blankenship, Bremerton, WA, USA
Closer NowCOMMENTS: Wonderful mental image of an approaching storm - beautifully sketched lines artfully convey the anticipation, both of the storm and of the heat presaging (and following!) it.Dawn
echoes
each
thunder
clap and boom
under
gray
shadows;
the rumbles
feel closer now
than at dusk,
roll on
far
longer,
a buffer
against
heat
yet to
rise.Betty Dobson, Halifax, NS, CAN
============
Kennesaw MountainCOMMENTS: Glorious imagery! Particularly nice are the word pairings such as finger clouds, peach sun-set tones, swaying pine trees. Usage of words to craft an image on the very page is beautiful. Well-captured "orderly chaos" of the end of day.The
hush of
dusk
descends
on swaying
pine trees
sketched
against
the sky whose
finger clouds re-
leased peach sun-
set tones
as
crickets'
amorous
love songs
rise
at day's
endKay Lay Earnest, Smyrna, GA, USA
Starlit DreamCOMMENTS: The word clarity is keen, and attention to color brings to mind Gerard Manley Hopkins. Very kinetic poem.sun
oozes
blood
sinking
westerly
towards
dawn
hues red
orange blue
welcome nightfall
mother earth
tucks in
night
under
slumbering
blanket
sweet
starlit
dreamsTim Floto, Scotts Valley, Ca, USA
Moments NoticeCOMMENTS: Nice personification of light, interesting choice of the words "fresh reaching" to describe it, giving it a sort of life it does not otherwise possess. Lovely sketch of something as simple as light pouring through horizontal blinds, pooling on the floor, evoking inner thoughts a la Wordsworth.fresh
reaching
light
in soft
crescendo
filters
through
the blinds
refractions
orchestrated
horizon
journeys
swift
within
the waking
of my
minds
conscious
eyeRoz Garay, Riverside, CA, USA
Something's ComingCOMMENTS: Evocation of a much-awaited rain, alluringly given life.Light
filters
through
the leaves
of tall oak
green and
soft
as dusk
takes over
from day's brightness
while thunder
rumbles
in
distance
as breezes
promise
rain
with the
nightMary E. Gray, Newport News, VA, USA
night lightCOMMENTS: Playful in rhythm and word choice, this poem would be a lovely choice for a child's good-night reading. Dual meaning of the title is appreciated.stay
with me
play
with me
see the sky
grow gray
and
rosy
sated birds
and butterflies
settle down
for night-
time
sighs her
sweet refrain
fragrant
light
twilight
sightAvonne Griffin, Greer, SC, USA
Twilight SerenadeCOMMENTS: Summer love captured in musical rhythm. Nice word choices.star
shine glows
bids
welcome
lovers dance
under
moon
lit sky
together
a slow romance
tenderly
timid
both
begin
to whisper
they share
each
searching
nightMaryann Hazen-Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
Measured PaceCOMMENTS: A welcome respite from the busy-ness of our world, this poem neatly captures the need to sometimes just "be" and wait for a new beginning. Nice double "stop" by using the word "I" to force the reader to pause, just as the poet did.I
stay the
night
to wait
upon the
dawn that
I
might bring
her pace to
my helter-skel-
ter world, now
wiser
for
having
witnessed a
peaceful
dawn
slowly
rise.Janet Parker, Leesburg, FL, USA
Touched ByCOMMENTS: Compelling final line triad neatly sums up the poem's meaning, as well as provides a wonderful "stop image." Beautiful attention to the particulars of night and flowers, as well as emotion neatly captured in few words.In
silver
rays
morning
mist creeps and
blends with
sweet
scented
gardenia
filtering night
day quickens
I rise
rush
lift my
face to morn-
ing bliss
It
touches
me.Judith Schiele, Brandon, MS, USA
At MidlightCOMMENTS: Lovely title! Wonderful use of line spacings to create a pausing effect, as well as hyphenating certain words. Color is abundant here, as well as physical sensations, giving the poem a feeling of breathing and living.Red
firelight
fades
to pur-
ple then black.
White lamp
twin-
kles low
in the east.
Breeze ruffles leaves,
cool on fore-
heads tired
from
day’s work.
Time of peace.
Time of
pass-
age to
rest.Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
Light SoundsCOMMENTS: Exquisitely fading poem, breathing steadily through each line, fading like the end of day - wonderful attention to word meanings and sounds, not just how they fit into a specific meter, is what makes this poem work.fade
sunset
its
gloaming
of color
whispers
light
hinting
of rainbows
moments before
its silence
resounds
in
a gray
almost moan
then shh. . .
so
softly
nightJames M. Thompson, Baytown, TX, USA
VOICE OF THE EARTH - GHAZAL
FIRST PLACE - A signed copy of "Indigo Avenue," by Craig Tigerman.
After The StormCOMMENTS: Attention grabbing title. Unexpected insight offers hope in the thirteenth line. Shows attention to detail without being verbose. Interesting parallelism both between the men eager to rebuild and the ladies mourning the losses, as well as the hopeful sky and the battered ground.If one can look above and not below
see the clear sky and not the damage done.By the wild, wayward storm of yesterday
deny the injured count, and storm tossed trees.See not the water's rage that grasped the banks
of overflowing streams that swept torn earth.Orphaned animals left without their homes
so any sudden storm now panics them.Victims of the storm that lashed the coast
for several days before it went its way.So bright and sunny up above today
so ravished, empty, barren down below.Thoughts of rebuilding on the minds of men
While ladies tremble thinking of their loss.Janet Parker, Leesburg, FL, USA
SanctumCOMMENTS: Nice depth of feeling. Imparts an attention-getting bell-ringing warning in the last couplet. Good usage of diction without it being overbearing or misunderstood.There is more than enough vegetation
to sustain human life on my back.Golden sun emits sufficient energy
to power the planet's demands.Ample seas, oceans, lakes, rivers and streams
provide abundant resources for marine-life.Indigenous trees provide clear atmosphere
for feathered creatures to soar.Inside my earth belly wait minerals, clays,
salts, gases, and oils for healthy life.Scattered across my skin are peoples
for companionship, support and guidance.Within these peoples are the spirits necessary
to recognize these as blessings before the eleventh-hour.Maryann Hazen Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
The Blue PlanetCOMMENTS: Lovely rhythm and meter. Nice phrasing. "I drum my fingers along the shore" ordinary language, extraordinary image. Exquisite in creation of images, this poem speaks plainly, yet amazingly. Wonderful perspective.From a distant place beyond familiar atmosphere
there is a purist view of me, blue and alluring.I wrap myself in mystery, clouds resembling gauze,
perhaps to hide my scars and undulating mood.Children scatter across my vast and varied terrain,
gather in groups of likeness, some plain, some furious.A she-bear is patient with her cubs, then swipes them
with a roar and heavy paw; I lash at mine with wind.My face has changed with time and tribulation. Temptation
ever strips away my pride, but I survive to lift my chin.I rise to heights of circumstantial bliss. Where air is thin
I begin to feel the wispy touch of elemental veils.Do you understand the depth of me? Restrained in boundaries,
pooled for inheritance, I drum my fingers along the shore.Avonne Griffin, Greer, SC, USA
Reality AmuckCOMMENTS: Startling portrayal of the quintessence of earth's deterioration, capped by the reminder that it is self-caused, not otherwise. The anguish is easily palpable. Well-chosen words and images, shocking in their truth.I rise each morning watching for sun's bright glow
craving it's beauty hidden by smog and smoke.My prairie survives in hidden valleys where
the earth diggers can not find her soft underbelly.Nightmares of blasted scared, obliterated
mountains waken me in torrents of coldest sweat.Wind moans uncaught by forest raped and sawed asunder,
set ablaze by lightning licking the wounds of man.Raging torrents dig watery graves consuming
terra firma, pine bower, rosy garden plots.Mosquito pools germinate death as the crow flies,
the unsuspecting victims play in summer's heat.Far north, an icy melting permafrost slipping
quiet into seas washing away existence.Linda L. Creech, Bellefontaine, OH, USA
LamentationCOMMENTS: Excellent reminder of how humans have turned a deaf ear to the lamentations of the earth herself. Interesting word choices keep the poem from being "just another political save-the-earth poem" and create something that speaks to the reader. Nice usage of periodic alliteration to keep it from becoming dull.Drought, dying crops, dust-eroded farms
Through parched lips the earth speaksBrush fires burn, wildfires devour
With tongues of flame the earth speaksTornado, cyclone, hurricane, nor'easter
Through the very air the earth speaksPollution blinds, deafens, and chokes us
We do not listen when the earth speaksToo many people--and a gorilla--drown
Through flooding tears the earth speaksGlobal warming, shrinking habitats
Where will we go when there's nowhere left?The earth is our cradle, our home
We should listen when the earth speaksMary E. Gray, Newport News, VA, USA
Evolution of RevelationCOMMENTS: Kafka-esque in its images, this poem startles and shocks into quiet submission. Excellent imagery and phrasings, as well as keen diction.A cauldron brewing on a planet, porous remnants
filter atomic spores, giant mushrooms rocket;Drastic weather-patterns plague, sockeye-runs dwindle
dragging fishermen to rock-bottom ocean floors.Pyramids built, supernaturally, all come tumbling down
deleting millions of puzzles, temblor of the earth.Smog lays claim to the day, Kyoto a Suzuki dream
as smoke stacks meet contrails, X's and O's in the sky;The battle of good and evil, world nemeses are leading
today's malignant cancers to tomorrow's hijacked dreams;Controlling who is born, a reptilian trait, be afraid
clones of genocide, straight into motherless incubators.The sun will abort our galaxy, into the abyss of prophecy
a gust in August's inferno, and our daily bread is toast;Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
PersistenceCOMMENTS: Beautiful unity of colors and stones to open this poem; excellent juxtaposition of past and present portrays the Change more than anything else could. The word jetenginesound brings to mind the unrelenting roar of same. Heart-rending closing lines force tears. Excellent title.Jade green, lapiz blue - a marriage of the two here
where tall grasses waded out into the ocean.Rivers ran through the prairie's heart, constantly
refilling the grateful Gulf which sent back gifts of rain.A hundred years ago the grass was still so tall a man
had to stand his stirrups to see the way ahead.Today concrete scars criscross the bald scalp of
the countryside and any gutsy grass is quickly cut.The thundering herd which rolled like lava across the land,
fed, clothed, housed The People, is now Buffalo Burgers $5.The grouse which drummed and stamped his ballet of life
is still around, barely, his drums drowned by jetenginesound.Yet every spring, pink poppies, red paintbrush, bluebonnets,
buttercups pour across the land - as the prairie tries again.John E. Rice, Houston, TX, USA
NostalgiaCOMMENTS: Good title. A call to action for the ones who once called to action.Conservation isn’t what it used to be
Back when flower children were in full bloom.The aluminum can recycle bins
Have become as rare as endless forests.Instead of reducing time on the road
You applaud conquering oil fields by force.You sit and complain when the waste of others
Fills the spots you’re seeking to toss your own.You live to raise buildings and businesses
And reject the green of the parks and woods.How can you think of your own profit and comfort
While the birds and animals lose so much?You who worship the material life
Were the youth who once lived for simple things.Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
Winner of a $10.00 electronic book gift certificate from Barnes &
Noble.
Lighthouse IslandCOMMENTS: Glorious romp through the Land of Make Believe Words! Childlike in its eagerness and e e cummings-like in its vocabulary, this poem evokes all kinds of glee for kids and adults alike, while at the same time reminding readers that every place needs to be loved. Sharp. Fresh. Delightful. Life is not all completely serious, and in every adult heart hides a child waiting to leap into the air like Tarzan! Enchanting piece, creative and expressive, capturing the imagination!a stand of vine maple
trunks and limbs
covered with mossbeard
graybrown, tangledno tarzanswing
cheetaclimb
longjohnsilveravastmatie
bombsaway
hopalonggidiyup
injunattack
slothrestthis hidden grove
in need of a boy's imaginationGary Blankenship, Bremerton, WA, USA
FIRST PLACE - Winner of a blank book donated by Kathleen Elizabeth Schaefer.
Shooting Stars
Tiggie hides from my daughter, who squats down to peer
Inside each freshly hewn pot awaiting new soil, behind
Each potted plant whose name she does not know. The whisk
Of a tail sends her squealing for a bit of string to
Lure her auntie’s cat from its hiding place. The tail is drawn
Under the boat to re-emerge, poorly camouflaged by the dark hanging
Blossoms of a bougainvillea branch, their tiny white flowers open
to the
Withering dusk. As moon ascends further in the sky, my daughter
sighs,
"I’ve never seen a shooting star but I have a wish for it," and I
Who have seen so many stars seer the sky, reach up
For the cat who meows, then crouches down before leaping
Onto the patio table, forming a crescent arc with her tail.
Terrie Leigh Relf, San Diego, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Nice usage of free verse in a conventional form.
Title ties in nicely with poem. Excellent descriptions that keep
your attention. Good internal and end rhyme usage with "sigh," "I," "sky."
Lovely juxtaposition of the cat's crescent tail with the arc of a shooting
star across the sky. Very nice example of open couplets, with the
lines flowing very easily and smoothly. Nice positioning of various
foliages to provide clear mental images. Weaves a pattern of sharp
awareness in a warm inviting fashion. Excellent command of the language,
with pleasing diction and alliteration. Poetic and beautiful depiction.
============
SECOND PLACE
The Queen
The Persian Matriarch rests on her white adirondack throne,
surveying her kingdom, eyeing, in camouflaged white tones,
her prey. Her avian subjects, enticed by the bird pond and food,
frolic and feast, while the queen watches her unwary brood,
plotting her next step. Slowly rising, she readies herself
for the assault, an unsuspecting chick oblivious to her stealth
the target of her attack. Crouched and creeping, she moves
in for the kill, instinct driving her, she's in her groove
and ready to pounce. She attacks with fast feral fury,
in a blurry eye-blink, a shrill screech and a flurry
of white fur. The bird flies off, the queen lands in a clatter,
picks herself up, dignity in tact, as if it is of no matter.
Tim Floto, Scotts Valley, Ca, USA
COMMENTS: Humorous depiction of cat-like pose. Good rhythym and
metre. Storyline pulls reader into poem.
==============
THIRD PLACE
Seeing Spots
Shadows lengthen, daylight fades and fails
As peppercat tussles with foxtails
Beside the brick border. Herbs hang low,
Nodding heads over the patio,
Heavy with seed. They just match her fur,
Black spots on blond field, a subtle blur
Of umber. Her eyes are two green leaves
Opening and closing. Under eaves
Still dripping rain, I watch, and know her
True name. Night falls. Moon and stars show her
As she falls asleep beneath the shelf
Daughter of Cat Who Walks By Himself.
Elizabeth Barrette, Charleston, IL, USA
COMMENTS: Nice usage of alliteration, and wonderful metaphor.
==============
HONORABLE MENTION
Tiger's Trials
We don't need the rooster's crow,
blue jays scream at Tiger far below
their treetop tower. At dawn's first
light, the feathered gang dares him to do his worst
as if he really cared. It's just not fair,
he thinks, as he gives the noisy mob a glare
and heads for shelter. Under the rose
he takes a Tiger pause, flashes claws from ends of toes
just to prove he still can. He keeps a golden eye
on the door, waiting for one of us to happen by,
let him in for breakfast. Tuna from a can -
better than jay any day - and a nap on the blue divan.
John E. Rice, Houston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Title invites the reader into poem. Humorous ending
line showing dichotomy. Good internal rhyme.
============
OTHER POEMS COMMENTED UPON BY OUR EDITORS
============
Cat Dreams
Gabriel gazes at Koi fish
Lazily rippling the pond, then
Pulls a frond of water lily
Into his smiling mouth
-- Grimaces as he spits it out
Pouts; preens graying whiskers
Intent upon a sanguine face
Where every hair's in place
Eyes spy a golden straggler
Swimming closer than the rest,
Wildly extends his cat paw claws
Yet dares not breach loathed wetness.
SJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
COMMENTS: By naming the cat at the beginning, the poet pulls
the reader into the poem - it becomes personal (purrsonal?). Wonderful
exacting detail of each little thing, from the specific name of the fish
inhabiting the pond to the specific flower frond to the grayness of Gabriel's
whiskers. Laughter-invoking final lines create a poem well-worth
a re-read!
==============
Tabby Talk
Today I found a shabby tabby meowing by my back door
I said, I have two cats and don’t have room for more
She said, I understand clearly what you have to say,
If you can spare a bowl of milk I’ll be on my way
Your cats are lucky to have all those packs of Pounce
Do you think they would mind if you served me an ounce?
I was thrown out of my home without a single word
The day they caught me eyeing their silly talking bird
Life on the street life is rough for a truly proper lady
There’re lots of Toms wandering and most are rather shady
As she turned to go she woefully eyed my sunny window seat
Tonight, I have three purring felines snuggling by my feet.
Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: Rollicking rhyme, as well as amusing double entendres
and personification of the shabby tabby make this a must-read!
==============
The Purr-fect Ending?
Among fragrant fallen petal,
Footprints in the dew will settle
Hints that someone lingers. Hidden
In the shadows he is bidden
To seek shelter beneath flowers
And he'll rest there. Passing hours
Of a lazy summer day. Then
As evening calls attention, when
Perfumes are apt to waft. Scenting
Breezes with his tail up venting
Like an old tom cat, but a white
stripe ends this tale, in evening light.
Linda L. Creech, Bellefontaine, Ohio, USA
COMMENTS: Smiles for the title... Lovely rhyme, and alliteration.
Wonderful double meaning in "white stripe ends this tale."
==============
Royalty in Residence
From the day the blue-eyed kitten arrived in her new home
She walked with the pride of a queen ascending her throne
Kay and Milton understood their roles, they were to please
This independent pure-bred Chocolate Point Siamese
She declared common chow food would never touch her dish
Would only accept people food with doubles on the fish
Kay served as personal groomer and slept by Socki's bed
While she signaled Milton when it was time to be fed
When she reached old age and moved to a new domain
Life for Kay and Milton never was the same
Sometimes they hear orders from their departed queen
But awake to find the instructions were only in a dream.
Kay Lay Earnest, Smyrna, GA, USA
COMMENTS: Apt title, considering the subject matter! A
heart-warming tribute to a special kitty, and a nice look at the personal
lives of cats - and perhaps a peep into the way their feline minds work.
Good attention to rhyme and meter.
==============
Jungle Kitties
Three little kittens wandered away
and found themselves in the golden sway
of tasseled grass and dandelions
ripe for games of crouch-and-seek. Quiet
at first, they stalked real sleek, circling
with evil intent. One waited to spring
until position was right. Ears and eyes
rose slightly above the bend and rise
as another began to blend and creep
like a tiger might. The third made a leap
and they rolled around in a mingled ball
of fur . . . until they heard her call.
Avonne Griffin, Greer, SC, USA
COMMENTS: "Crouch-and-seek" is a lovely turn of phrase, so appropriate
to feline subject matter! Excellent rhyme, and a lovely image of
the imaginary world of those special creatures, kittens.
==============
Triple Confrontation
My Chihuahuas dash onto the deck in a frenzy trying to shove
their noses through the spaces between the boards, sniffing
frantically; a sure sign of, 'Cat-Under-Porch!'
I attach ChickenLeg and BeckyBareBelly
to their tether on the clothesline and just as their
already running feet hit the ground, They're Off!,
chasing a gigantic golden cat through the garden
as far as the rope will allow, then Yoink!
they snap to a full stop with GingerCat
well out of reach through the field;
flicking her tail in triumph, she turns -
her whiskered grin replaced with gray feathers.
Maryann Hazen Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
COMMENTS: Hilarious names have the reader rolling with laughter
before long! Glorious sound-words, and clever capitalization, create
a comic-book worthy "sound balloon" style poem. Closing line is a
surprise.
==============
Lazy Daisy Summer Days
Lazy Daisy, sprawling across old track ties,
Nearly hidden by dust, curled in shade's dance
Beneath willow sweeps. One-eyed glint, now and again,
Letting me know she's still alive, while lively
Cricket's chirps add vocals. Bluegrass banjo's
Deliverance purrs, in tune with breezy chime's
Lullaby. Country girl strums her tail in time.
Heaving herself, twenty pounds on tired-swing's
Too-fast sway and, bloop, over the side. Old mouse
dodging kittens, stops to stare; Daisy only sighs
Recognizing the one that got away. Years passed.
Years past, like a scythe in the wheat, she was spry.
Tanya Ruth Larson, Kamloops, BC, CAN
COMMENTS: Beautiful, lazy poem - very good attention to specific
words to prolong the feeling of laziness. Very good observations
of cat behavior, such as "one-eyed glint" while they sleep. Excellent,
excellent descriptives to capture the feeling of a cat past her prime,
while also subtly tying this in with human thought processes.
==============
Siamese Sammy
It's in the shape of his dainty feet
The way the turn when he runs to greet
Across them smudges resembling black soot
Painstakingly marking each small foot
The way he holds his tail up high and tight
So garden cat artistically right
The pleading invitation in his eyes
The low and barely audible small sighs
Announcing he's now on his way to bed
And hopes you'd like to join him there instead
Of watching that old, late night, TV show
For the second, or third, time in a row.
Janet Parker, Leesburg, FL USA
COMMENTS: Sweet portrait of a sweet kitten, waiting for
more attention. Nice imagery.
==============
Fall Romp
While the summer heat baked our town, he dozed
Lying stretched in the grass full length, eyes closed
To our ever-hurrying human ways
Which to him must seem as completely crazed
As a mouse that runs to attack. Today
Now the first chill of fall has come our way
And the heat is gone. He springs to the crown
Of the high gate-hill; then he plunges down
To the path below, and he chases leaves
Running helter-skelter before the breeze
And he leaps again, and he swats the sky
As to wave the autumn a friendly "Hi."
Katherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
COMMENTS: A cat, behaving as humans must wish to behave upon
the break of summer's heat! Very nice rhythm and meter, as well as
vivid mental images
HIDDEN PLACE - HAIKU
FIRST PLACE
deep in forestCOMMENTS: Shows a lot of "POW" in few words. Takes the reader right to the place where you can feel the moss beneath your fingers. A richness of image with a modicum of verbiage. Very vivid, in so few words - exemplary embodiment of the haiku form. Creates a very alluring mental image. Strong and smooth.
a patch of moss
summer dampnessJanet Parker, Leesburg, FL, USA
beyond cedar's shadeCOMMENTS: Really shows the "when" and "where" with dandelions drifting east, pheasants calling, etc., with a touch of alliteration as well.
the ringneck's call echoes
dandelions drift eastGary Blankenship, Bremerton, WA, USA
meadow cloaked in snowCOMMENTS: Imparts a winter season with chilly but soul-warming language to make a reader want to pull a collar up around her neck and walk in it.
brilliant moon obscures night
pine shadows danceTim Floto, Scotts Valley, Ca, USA
ponderous moonCOMMENTS: Wonderful parallelism between the roundness of the full moon and the roundness of the eggs, as well as the roundness of the turtle's belly. Excellent duality in near (turtle)/far (moon), bright (moon)/dark (buried eggs). Word choices are exquisite in their deliberateness.
turtle buries her eggs
full belly roundLisa Janice Cohen, Newton, MA, USA
HONORABLE MENTION
late autumn berriesCOMMENTS: A touch of alliteration with the images of berries just waiting to be picked, plopped in a mouth or prepared. Yummy writing. Wonderful imagery.
dull black and bright bittersweet
dangle from bushesMary E. Gray, Newport News, Virginia, USA
terns winging breezesCOMMENTS: Endless summer imparted with excellent prosody (rhythmic and intonational aspect of language.) Really nice job!
waves weave crescendo
endless echoesBev Steward, Santa Barbara, CA, USA
evergreen forestCOMMENTS: Alliteration is appropriately used, as well as carefully chosen words. Vivid image of the sun bleeding daybreak is the cap to a well-crafted haiku.
serene spring-fed crystal pond
sun bleeding daybreakSJ Baldock, Lancaster, TX, USA
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turtle crosses isthmusCOMMENTS: Well-portrayed slice of life here, just a single moment, yet one fraught with meaning. The sun cracking the dry mud reminds us of how hot it must be, and how vital it is for this turtle to cross "water to water" before becoming overcome by the heat - which, in turn, tells us how single-minded of purpose he is.
water to water
sun cracks rising mudLynette M. Bowen, Webster, TX, USA
green glassy pondCOMMENTS: Very clever closing line - a capturing of yet another link in the food chain. Nice descriptive in "heron statuette."
heron statuette rises
fish on final flightRoberta Pipes Bowman, Fort Worth, TX, USA
larch trees glowing goldCOMMENTS: Very prettily written, and majestic in diction.
offer swooping obeisance
to Mount Fuji-sanSuzAnne C. Cole, Houston, TX, USA
long low coastal caveCOMMENTS: Something as seemingly innocuous as water meeting sand takes on a much more threatening tone, reminding us of the inherent power and destructive nature of water. Excellent portrayal of Nature with both faces.
black-tipped liquid sliver stabs
virgin heart of sandBetty Dobson, Halifax, NS, CAN
rushing cedar creekCOMMENTS: Nice contrast between the rushing water and the silence of the woodland greenery, with the implicit soon-to-be-heard rattle of bluejays.
woodland greenery surrounds
bluejays nest nearbyBonnie B. Hayes, Waretown, NJ, USA
atmospheric gradationsCOMMENTS: atmospheric gradations - Colorful in diction, this haiku expresses a beautiful contrast.
periwinkle sand
black rock mountain silhouetteMaryann Hazen Stearns, Ellenville, NY, USA
blue skyCOMMENTS: Expressly simple, yet alluring in its imagery. A snapshot of something seemingly simple, yet fraught with more meaning than first glimpse divulges.
wind pushes cloud across
giant palmTerrie Relf, San Diego, CA, USA
green erupts from earthCOMMENTS: Very kinetic! Vocabulary is well chosen to convey a meaning of constant motion.
rambles over hill and glen
heather bursts explodeLynne Remick, Nesconset, NY, USA
high tide hits dry shoreCOMMENTS: Interesting contrast between the welcome water and the unwelcome nature of water - paralleling Nature's dichotomy of both helping and hurting in one breath.
with ferocious rippling waves
drowning thirsty grassEileen Sateriale, Bowie, MD USA
pine needles firmlyCOMMENTS: Lovely fall picture, and personification of the pine needles.
stand attentive new green growth
underbrush of goldTony A. Thompson, Lufkin, TX, USA
hill over riverCOMMENTS: Truly happy in its expression, this haiku is beautifully chosen and written. Use of the word "three-color" is especially effective.
jade leaves dance around trunk
three-color sings thereKatherine Swarts, Houston, TX, USA
Shooting Stars
Tiggie hides from my daughter, who squats down to peer
Inside each freshly hewn pot awaiting new soil, behind
Each potted plant whose name she does not know. The whisk
Of a tail sends her squealing for a bit of string to
Lure her auntie’s cat from its hiding place. The tail is drawn
Under the boat to re-emerge, poorly camouflaged by the dark hanging
Blossoms of a bougainvillea branch, their tiny white flowers open
to the
Withering dusk. As moon ascends further in the sky, my daughter
sighs,
"I’ve never seen a shooting star but I have a wish for it," and I
Who have seen so many stars seer the sky, reach up
For the cat who meows, then crouches down before leaping
Onto the patio table, forming a crescent arc with her tail.
Terrie Leigh Relf, San Diego, CA, USA
COMMENTS: Nice usage of free verse in a conventional form. Title ties in nicely with poem. Excellent descriptions that keep your attention. Good internal and end rhyme usage with "sigh", "I", "sky." Lovely juxtaposition of the cat's crescent tail with the arc of a shooting star across the sky. Very nice example of open couplets, with the lines flowing very easily and smoothly. Nice positioning of various foliages to provide clear mental images. Weaves a pattern of sharp awareness in a warm inviting fashion. Excellent command of the language, with pleasing diction and alliteration. Poetic and beautiful depiction.
There is no immediate prize associated with a poem having been picked as the Best Poem of a particular month, only the knowledge that our editors picked it over all the other prize winners of that month. However, all poems chosen for BEST POEM of each month in the year 2002 will be automatically entered in the BEST POEM OF THE YEAR 2002 competition, voted on by Sol Magazine Members at the end of the year. The winners of that contest will be awarded prizes and will be invited to enter Sol Magazine's Poet Laureate 2003 Competition.
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