JUDGES
John Rice
Craig Tigerman
Jade Walker
Contents of Part Four
| In each instance, we have listed form first, topic second. To read about any form, click the name of the form. To see the winning poems in the Poet Laureate 2001 Competition, click on topic. |
| SONG OF THE EVES | |
| IN THE WOODS | |
| FREE FORM | FEAR |
| ILLUSIONS |
FIRST PLACE
Last Eve in the GardenJUDGES' COMMENTS: Wonderful double entendre for the word "Eve" here! This poem has more of a wondering tone, which lends a childlike air to it tinged with the "knowing" of what came after. Beautiful usage of colors, such as "coral" and "ochre" and clever wordplay with "germinates" and "giving birth." Excellent closing lines, with apparent oxymorons which, upon further reflection, determine themselves to be rational and true. The twilight colors evoked in the early lines of this piece fade to the deliberately stark, sharp-edged final three lines. There is excellent, subtle use of alliteration here. Great double-meaning in title. Excellent use of assonance ("did Eve even realize") and structural technique (e.g., in the last three lines). Highlights how a "last eve" all too easily turns out to be a "lost-forever eve."on the last eve in the garden
did Eve even realize
message painted in the coral clouds
in the ochre globe descending past darkness
seed of discontented boredom
germinates in the pregnant night
giving birth in rekindled dawn’s embers
iron that sharpens iron
desert that defines garden
death that defines lifeLynette Bowen, League City, TX
SECOND PLACE
Russian BlueJUDGES' COMMENTS: Here is alliteration, carefully and subtly used in various hues of blues and grays. Repetition of words, a set of selective stops, softly punctuating the sinuous, sensuous central theme underscores the lighter layers and turns them inwards. A well woven warp and weft of words. We remember this evening, we know this place. We've been there. This is fine work. Eloquent elegy to an evening of togetherness and alienation, as ambiguous as light and darkness mingling into "graying evening." The bittersweet reminiscence here enshrines this particular evening with an everlasting aura of mysterious specialness, as also suggested by the title.Past sculptures, stubbornly graceful, fenced, so artfully arranged
Among the willow trees we wander almost wordlessly, connected and
Centripetal to each other, I never far enough from you, you never
Close enough to me, each connecting with singular pasts still
Coloring our individuated presents in hues so freshly raw that
Even as we gaze upon the same Rodin, solidly three-dimensional and
Clearly defined, yet do we see a thing neither can explain to the
Other, and the leaves slip against themselves into the graying
Evening, slip against themselves as evening slips into night, as
Sighing winds slip teasing fingers through your darkling hair.Martha Kirby Capo, Houston, TX
THIRD PLACE
The Dominant SkyJUDGES' COMMENTS: Beautiful reflections. From the sensuous opening lines, picturing evening as a stalking creature, "lean and bare," to the blazing conclusion, this poem personifies evening as well as it could be done. The comparisons to repression and desire are alluringly contradictory, but at the same time, perfectly cohesive. Woven throughout, the contrast of the soul's restraint differing from any other kind of restraint, of linking the self's soul to the soul of the coming night, "too dominant for escaping day," is compellingly done. One comes away with a picture of the coming night as a barely restrained creature, burning to shine, much like the soul of a poet. Beautifully crafted.The slow pacing of a solemn evening
as it creeps the wilderness, lean and bare,
is like repression, like desire.
This connection to restraint
is nothing like worship’s constraint.
The land lies hushed, its voice bound
to the lure of the morning star,
and I, compelled to spurn wild reason,
censor my craving under skies
too dominant for escaping day.Candace A. York, Austin, TX
HONORABLE MENTION
MadrigalJUDGES' COMMENTS: Powerful comparison of night's arrival to the start of a play or orchestral performance. Feels incredibly realistic.Come the Whippoorwill hour,
daytime's flashy brass
gives way to chortles,
chirps and peeps.
Light's curtain slowly parts.
What better prologue
to the stars shy performance
than the fluted song
of a lonely bird's refrain.
"Whip-poor-will, Whip-poor-will!"Ron Blanton, Alpharetta, GA
FIRST PLACE
Sweet BeechJUDGES' COMMENTS: A love poem to the trees, and a truly beautiful ode. The rockabye-babyesque opening flows directly into pure childlike absorption in the majestic beauty of this tree. Lovely phrasings ("heartwood, heavenward", "shielded shade", "cryptic sticks" and others) delight the reader, with the added treat of a rhyming couplet at the end. Excellent poetry here.I hang cradled in hammock thoroughly absorbed
by the beech bark and seed of you.
Leaf and sweet nut, grand expanse,
the heartwood, heavenward height of you.
I marvel at your chipped thickness,
the shielded shade within your skin,
your underhum of root and tube,
inner rings, blood sap and sprig.
I wonder at your creaking guise,
your cryptic sticks, your breezy sighs.Maryann Hazen-Stearns, Ellenville, NY
SECOND PLACE
The Peace TreeJUDGES' COMMENTS: A truly loving picture of a truly loved tree; we see the power of trees to distill sorrow and remove worries. Here, this tree takes on a magical aspect, able to gather problems to it and knot it around its trunk (and what a wonderful image that is, hearkening to the knotty maple bark!) and overgrow them while the author sleeps. The tree here is a calming presence - the language used is beautifully tender and loving, and the reader comes away feeling at peace. Personifying the tree as a parent or friend is incredibly effective. A comforting, soothing piece. Careful construction. We all should be fortunate enough to have a Peace Tree.The maple tree in my front yard
with gentle limbs and soothing leaves,
took my youthful problems
knotted in thread around its trunk,
and overgrew them.
At night, when the world slept,
the calm of its great soul
draped over me like shade,
whispered with wind in my dreams.
No worries, child. No worries.Ruth Solomon, Fairhope, AL
THIRD PLACE
SurvivalJUDGES' COMMENTS: This exquisite poem juxtaposes the successful survival of the tree with the doubtful survival of the mill town, attributing volitional acts of cradling, releasing seeds, and forging dreams to the tree in contrast with the static and sadly broken glass and hearts of the townspeople. This tree takes center stage. Poetically, the vivid word-pictures are enhanced with assonant parallelisms. Superb work here.Deep within the embrace of octopus arms
The swamp maple cradles a tiny shelf
Distracting its occupants with helicopter seeds
And quilted leaves
Forging dreams
Far above the broken glass
and broken hearts
of a once thriving mill town.Diane M. Davis, Chelmsford, MA
HONORABLE MENTION
Tree ConnectionsJUDGES' COMMENTS: A joyful connection of the soul with a tree, communing - the author becomes the tree, yet remains within the body. A true linking of kindred spirits, and a rapturous song of love - wonderful imagery, wonderful chorusing, worshipful voice. The voice in this poem is a unique one, and an ideal choice to show the love of one tree for another. Connections well made by use of subtle alliteration, metaphor and careful word selection: "sturdy spines connecting earth and sky."Oh Cedar
When we touch
Your love like sap runs through me
spiraling healing heat
Your borrowed breath, the wind, courses within
saturating every cell
Your pungent evergreen presence
reminds me we are sisters
sturdy spines
connecting earth and skyLynette Bowen, Webster, TX
FIRST PLACE
HurricaneJUDGES' COMMENTS: Very nice. The reader can see those "hounds" baying. Truly a fearful topic, this poem relies on kinetic imagery to convey the fear. And convey it, it does - the "storm-tossed winds" and "phantom hounds" are excellent images worthy of Poe. Here, the hurricane is not so much a natural occurrence as it is something awful, magical, outside of even Nature's control - unleashed by some demon, phantom hounds stalking the land breathing fire. Compelling imagery, wonderfully told. All coastal dwellers, particularly island folk, know these fearful images. Feel the fear crescendoing in the strong finishing words:"... phantom hounds, Jet black and breathing fire."My heart stands still
When storm-tossed winds
Drive thunder and lightning
Across the island like phantom hounds,
Jet black and breathing fire.Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX
SECOND PLACE
Speech ImpedimentJUDGES' COMMENTS: Simple, short, to the point - yet it illustrates what must be a gripping, paralyzing fear. The fear of not being able to comprehend, communicate fluently. Interesting juxtaposition of fear with the reflection in the mirror, and interesting personification of that same reflection as being able to speak fluently, but the self not being able to understand. A compelling portrait of a difficult-to-articulate fear. Here is the true essence of poetry: the poet stands stark naked, mirrored, exposed to the world and speaks a language we can comprehend to the very core of the soul. Four lines, not one wasted word. What a powerful piece! So very well done.Fear is my reflection
speaking from the mirror
fluent in a language
I cannot comprehendMaryann Hazen-Stearns, Ellenville, NY
THIRD PLACE
Don't TellJUDGES' COMMENTS: Excellent writing. Good internal rhymes. This poem expresses a very true fear.In my mind's blind eye, memories
of it lie in dust, obscured by years.
I can only clean that attic in my sleep;
buried terrors fear the light
of recalling and moving on.Andrea M. Zander, Rochester, MN
HONORABLE MENTION
Freshman in CollegeJUDGES' COMMENTS: Pensive musings. Perfectly exemplifies the ultimate fear - fear of finding out you can't do it. Of finding out that nothing is what you thought it was. The title fits perfectly with the tenor of the poem - a first year in a huge, new world, fraught with fears. Extremely cleverly written, the layering of parents' ambitions over the teachers' aims and goals, tucked into the responsibilities of friends - and the closing line drives the poem home. After all of that layering, after all of that careful preparation....is the emperor really wearing any clothes? Excellent, excellent double entendre and poem. Excellent expressions.I put on my parents' ambitions
Over my teachers' aims and goals
Tucked into the responsibilities of my friends
And wonder
If the emperor is wearing no clothes.Diane M. Davis, Chelmsford, MA
FIRST PLACE
THE SHADOW SELFJUDGES' COMMENTS: The reflection can be more than an illusion; as shown here, it can be a revelation of fear. Good use of alliteration, fine word selection, well constructed and paced with more than one metre. A poem to be read aloud.Dark duplicate, nightmare's bogeywoman
skulking behind me, I drag you into daylight glare
secret shadow-side cringing here.
These hands. . . this body. . . this face
dark sister. . . you are me.SuzAnne C. Cole, Houston, TX
SECOND PLACE
TapestryJUDGES' COMMENTS: Lush comparison of the skies to a tapestry, woven by a heavenly hand. The transition from the rich colors down through the weave into the underbelly of examination is very interesting, as well as apt in this case. Good conclusion.By God's eye they hang majestic
tapestries on heaven's loom.
Descending through the weave
wind and silver, I am left examining
the underbelly of a drab day.Ron Blanton, Alpharetta, GA
THIRD PLACE
Beneath the Majesty of StarsJUDGES' COMMENTS: The lively, evening sky is the ultimate example of an illusion. Great choice!Imparting much beauty to the tapestry of life
Yet they may be gone from long ago.
Still I know their light through time and space
even a child understands a special wish
and wonders what they are.Roz Garay, Whittier, CA
HONORABLE MENTION
What Lies BeneathJUDGES' COMMENTS: Charming view of the beauty inside a tree. A clever comparison. Excellent usage of phrases in the beginning to lead the reader to believe this poem is about an aged person's skin, fingers, arms, body - and then the final line provides the "surprise" ending of the poem. Well thought out. Careful word selection creates vivid imagery. This poet uses a magician's diversionary tactics and springs the real thing on us in the final two words. A graphic description of ugliness; excellent surprise ending. Anthropomorphizing the tree reminds us that beauty and ugliness are only skin-deep.Dull-gray veins in wrinkled flesh, weather-beaten skin
Fingers twisted, gnarled hands sprout from spiny arms.
Shapeless torso, trunk and neck, decrepit worn facade
Sticky sweetness, sugar sap, spout from maple’s bark.Kathy Kehrli, Factoryville, PA
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