Sol Poet Laureate 2001 Part Three Winners

SOL MAGAZINE
POET LAUREATE 2001 Edition
PART THREE

JUDGES
Paula Marie Bentley
Christopher Gibrich
Ted L. Leung
Betty Ann Whitney

Contents of Part Three

In each instance, we have listed form first, topic second. To read about any form, click the name of the form. To see the winning poems in the Poet Laureate 2001 Competition, click on topic.

CINQUAIN	TATTOO TRILOGY
DOUBLE FIVE	CHILD
MIKU	BIRTH DEATH

CINQUAIN: TATTOO TRILOGY

FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $10.00 electronic gift certificate
Scars

1) Nu(re)m(b)er(g)[ology]

She knows
these numbers like
her address. A stain to
some; to her, a cipher of fate:
survive.
*****

2) Blossom
Scars cord
where once arose
a breast. Now, over scars,
cord colored climbing vines and
a rose.
*****
3) Rite
Tattoo
of her heart flows
from her body like ink
for the needle's tooth to write it:
"woman."
Andrea M. Zander, Rochester, MN

JUDGES' COMMENTS: The clever word play calls attention to this rite unique to women. Excellent wording with hidden insight into history. Original! Well structured. Enhanced with vividly clear images. Good use of alliteration. The ending poem reinforces the theme with an elastic effect that snaps and then releases a powerful one word closing. From the instant-understanding, double entendre title to the closing lines, this poem powerfully portrays the ultimate tattoo - unwilling, unwanting, but forever marking the person for life. The deft turning-about of the mark of death into a mark of constant survival-reminder is keenly illustrated by the additional challenge the subject faces with her masectomy. The second tattoo, one of reaffirmation and faith, contrasts - yet works with - the first one. Excellent weaving of the unwanted tattoo, the reaffirming tattoo, and the tattoo of the heart's rhythm as a reminder, forever, of her womanhood. From chilling reminders to truly uplifting metaphor: excellent! Vivid evocative imagery, strong alliteration and assonance.
============

SECOND PLACE
Etched in Time

1) Love Token

I wear
your gold quartz watch
upon my left hand wrist
where pulse points still connect you to
my heart
*****

2) Visible Imprint
Its band
wraps tight around
my lower left forearm,
tattooing what remains of you
to me
*****
3) Degrees of Separation
I trace
my fingertips
across the bumpy scar,
warm unlike the granite etched with
your name

Kathy Kehrli, Factoryville, PA

JUDGES' COMMENTS: A most intriguing "take" on the subject, using the imprint of a gold watch - one that belonged to a dearly loved one - and its impression on the skin as a tattoo. Nice usage of key phrases such as "pulse points still connect you to/ my heart." Chilling ending, nostalgia tinged with regret. Left me with goosebumps and a "wow" for the impact of the surprise ending. Well done! Visual language shapes quickly and clearly an arrangement of intense, personal emotions so that we understand and identify with the experience. Alliteration and assonance, combined with the twist in the last two lines of each stanza, make this poem even more emotionally powerful.
============

THIRD PLACE
Working Out

Identification

The gym
is filled with folks
tattooed in all places
I recognize the brands not their
faces
*****

Faded Glory
Wrinkled
arms bear faded
tattoos of Stars and Bars
dated 1942 in
pale blue
*****
Bird's Eye View
Tattoos
of Woodstock bob
up and down bronze ankles
keeping pace with her Stair Master
workout

Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Work Out has poetic flow, reads well, and is devoid of artificiality. Easily understood. The "Bird's Eye View" in the gym in "Faded Glory" definitely gives the mind a workout. One couldn't help but ask: where are the youngsters? A collection of vivid images revealing the universality of individuals. Interesting metaphor, supported by the detailed descriptions.
============

HONORABLE MENTION
Parlor Game

1) Assault

Stab me
pierce me again
violate virgin flesh
carve some love upon me with steel.
I heal.
*****

2) Legacy
Stain me
graffiti me
prink a rainbowing wound
ink the imposition of art.
I dye.
*****
3) Burial
Hide me
keep me away
shroud the abandonment
Cerberus guards the catafalque.
I pale.

Ron Blanton, Alpharetta, GA

JUDGES' COMMENTS: For this poet, tattooing is a parlor game, which assaults one's body leaving a permanent legacy. The style of a phrase per line forcefully hammers out this picture perfect message. Chilled to the spine. A seemingly violent poem at first read, filled with kinetic verbs which pull the reader tightly close and force the feelings to the surface. Phrases such as "violate virgin flesh" imply that this experience of tattooing is akin to loss of innocence, the asking for love to be carved upon the flesh with steel. Interesting usage of the phrases "I heal" "I dye" and "I pale" - parallelisms with the tattoo itself, skin healing, dying, and finally, paling, cause the inexorable link between the tattoo and life (and life's ending) to be made. Lush imagery makes this poem compelling. Stunning exploitation of form and topic, great use of rhyme, and double-entendre. Parallel structure and internal rhyme accentuate the vivid imagery and multiple interpretations.

DOUBLE FIVE: CHILD

FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $10.00 electronic book gift certificate

After Birth
I still recall
The knotted skull
Covered in silky wet
Black hair as you descended
Your mother's birth canal.
As your face met first light
You turned to me, and breathed.
No blaze of glory
Could have burned
A more beautiful image.
Ron Blanton, Alpharetta, GA

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Interesting parallel between light/dark imagery and the birth process. Superb word-pictures capturing the moments of life's greatest miracle, through the eyes of true love. One can feel the bonding that took place at that eventful moment. "You turned to me, and breathed" is a kind of suspension between the basic, shorter lines, while offering to the imagination a dramatic passage, which leads to a gentle close.
=============

SECOND PLACE

Lucky Charm
Little lad, bright gossoon
with Irish eyes
shining like a radiant moon
at spry luck,
your laughter is as innocent and jejune
as the high spirits rocking emerald isles.
No wonder grown colleens
fancy Irishmen and shamrocks.
Dame Fortune falls for Gaelic grins,
the green charm of a spalpeen’s smile.
Candace A. York, Austin, TX

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Commanding use of unusual language, accentuating alliteration, and a rhyme scheme that ties this double five together bring its images together. Lovely romp through Irish lore. Very likable, extremely imaginative, very Irish. Strongly structured with a rich texture of images and rhythmical effects, yet the poem conveys an illusion of spontaneity.
=============

THIRD PLACE

First Born
our sparks lit the sky in
pink fairy dust that settled
about our souls and changed
all either had known before your
sweet light flooded our
group of two into three cradling
dreams in the palm of a tiny hand and
all innocence rests in two untrained
servants living each breath for
the smile in your eye
Beverly Forbes, Kemah, TX

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Leads us through the seemingly magical discoveries of parenthood with an interesting juxtaposition of whimsical imagery.
Captures the excitement of becoming parents; excellent use of stream of consciousness. Great contrast/parallel between first and last lines. Light imagery blends well into this stream of consciousness, and moderates the shadow cast by responsibility. Excellent content and artful descriptions overflow a portrait that offers tough competition for the First Place. The loving feel grows and grows and grows as one mulls over the poem throughout its windy run-on sentence that shaves and shaves and shaves one's energy.
=============

HONORABLE MENTION

Girl Indigo
Broken nail, broken heart
her hair, dyed jet black, fades
in heartbeats and tears.
She is here, she is now
screaming forever.
Dimensionless and expanding
beyond the edge of visible light
she hovers in her own luminescence
untouchable, yet yearning an embrace
she whispers, "I" and echoes.
James M. Thompson, Baytown, TX

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Contradiction, fading images evoke the confusion of the search for identity. Plain spoken language, combined with figures of speech adds to the imagination. One can hear the emotional yearning in the last line, an echo continuing.

MIKU: BIRTH DEATH

FIRST PLACE - Winner of a $10.00 book certificate

new person
comes to be
happy mother
Coke Brown Jr., Fort Worth, TX

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Creates the mother-and-child portrait in a fresh, new way. Succinct wording, yet vividly shows a relationship.
============

SECOND PLACE

seventh sister
survivor succumbs
surname stops

Claiborne Schley Walsh, Montrose, AL

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Excellent usage of alliteration and assonance to weave this portrait. How "final" a single death can be, when it marks the end of a family tree. Excellent usage of a short-sounding word to end the poem - like the surname, the reader just "stops" at the end. Creative.
=============

THIRD PLACE

lava flow
ash blow
soul bowl
Candace A. York, Austin, TX

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Great rhyme brings the ideas of this miku together, moving it in a creative direction.
=============

HONORABLE MENTION

tainted teats
suckle Zimbabwe's
AIDS taboo
Andrea M. Zander, Rochester, MN

JUDGES' COMMENTS: Death/birth related to natural breastfeeding in present day Zimbabwe and the present day natural virus killer, AIDS. Strikingly vivid imagery.

Continue to Part Four
or
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