Green
bright
early spring and
the oak tree's beauty
shimmers the eye of sunshine
through her high waving branches
revealing the squirrel's bushy tail
and the robin red breast
perched on twigs deep inside
a glowing mass of green
singing a sweet lullaby
to her young
oh
how
we
love
the time of spring
Betty Ann Whitney, Wesley Chapel, FL
Independence
W y
h o
e u
n
see
fire in
the sky and
great thunders
echo in the night
consider the cannon
that fired on targets of
hide and paint. For this was
our land, the land of the people.
You say We the People in the paper
that set you free from your tyrant king.
Who says the words my people used to sing?
Ron Blanton, Salt Lake City, Utah
Judge's Comments: This poet used the technique of dramatic monologue,
ending with a strongly worded question to move the reader to his point
of view. Excellent content, good use of vivid language. Great
dramatic form in the t.p. shape.
============
He is a famous
Weight lifter
Pumping iron
Thoughout the
Land
But
When
It
Comes
To taking out
The trash he
Is too tired
To lift a hand
Don Castiglioni, Austin, TX
Judge's Comments: Nice bar-bell form.
============
Having an
Hourglass
Figure is
Only
A
Dream
For gals
Who stop at
Dairy Queen
Lois Lay Castiglioni, Galveston, TX
Judge's Comments: Successful hourglass form. Witty content, with a title that reflects the deeper message of the poem.
Wandering
Wait
Wasps
While
Wildflowers
Whiz
Warmly Watchful Waltzing
Westward Whisper
Warblers Where
When Winds
Wing Warily
Shelley L. Crabtree, Enid, Ok.
Enid Writer's Club
Judge's Comments: The exceptionally eye-catching form of this poem is reinforced by the use of total alliteration throughout, including in the title. Reading the lines up and down also brings a strong movement to the piece, as suggested in the title. A difficult piece to successfully bring together, but all elements work very well.
Her Face
Ill think of her face
her indelible face her extraordinary face
Ill think of her eyes so
entranced
so desperate so pure
Ill
think of her face and
smile.
Ill think of her face and remember and submit
Ill bear her shimmering face in my head
and relax
a long and wistful relaxation because
her face
her summer face
is in my head
Ill settle back dream a crystal dream
dream of parted lips crimson
and quick to grin
and dream
of blue eyes deep
and eager
into a peaceful
sleep Ill drift
looking
upon her face
Her sweet face
Her face
Nico Crisafulli, Seattle, WA
Judge's Comments: Clearly considering our instructions to use NO punctuation whatsoever in this poem, the poet eliminated even the apostrophes in "I'll", adding to the visual impact of this well-crafted poem. Lyrical language, arresting form. The poet did not title this poem, but the title is implicit in the first and last lines of the poem. Ah, yes, "Her face." Memorable.
A Summer Storm
rain
drop
quiet
steady
wild, pounding
wet and whipping
snapping, spitting
refreshing
rain
Diane M. Davis, Chelmsford, MA
JUDGE'S COMMENTS: The form of this is reminiscent of how drops
of rain fall into puddles, and sometimes settle into dome-shaped bubbles
on the water before they burst. Refreshing, indeed.
============
I
thank
my lucky stars
each night for placing
me in the galaxy of granddaughters
Shooting through my heart
scattering stardust in their
wake I hope one day they receive
the same measure of hap-
piness they shine on
me
Kay Lay Earnest, Smyrna, GA
Judge's Comments: Nicely worded sentiment. Almost achieves
a six-pointed star shape.
=============
Speed
Always so busy
Too much to do
Frustration rising
But must stay cool
How did it happen
Like ants in a mound
Working with purpose
Always scurrying around
Speed is the godhead
Prices continually rising
Software's daily upgrades
Faster cars not surprising
Life is a wheel always spinning
Turning us round and round
Never sure where it will end up
Just hope we are still on the ground
Sharon Goodwin, Galveston, TX
Judge's Comments: Wise words, with heavier and heavier thoughts
spreading out to the last line. The form clearly adds to the poem.
============
Needy
sustenance
security
why don't i fall into your pyramid of needs?
all i am to you is a glimpse, a second thought
and that's how you make me feel a sliver
the needle no one is looking for
till your life unwinds
you don't listen to me
ever since i became
silent
Sarah Herrington, New York, NY
Judge's Comments: Powerfully demonstrates the language of emotion through the use of phrases such as "pyramid of needs", "all i am", "second thought", and "you don't ever listen to me." Well-written.
There is a season
Slipping sands speed heedless of their doom
enclosed in gently sloping glass whose
narrowing imperceptibly perceived
in passive acceleration
translates
swiftly
to
renewal
where potential lies
waiting in capacious realm
and welcomes the onrushing pour
of hopeful grains amassed in sloping bulk
heedless of the overturning hand once more
Jean McAllister, Bellevue, WA
Judge's Comments: Excellent hourglass form emphasizes not only
the "slipping sands" of time, but the change from one state of being to
another, and the chance of "renewal." Well-written.
=============
A ball
Of confusion
With jumbled
Thoughts, tears at
My soul, day by day
A bat I do need
To knock
It out
Nina NightRaine, St. Louis, MO
Judge's Comments: Jumbled thoughts are reflected in this uneven form, forcing the eye to follow the chaotic shape as it reads the words.
A
tear
or a drop
of blood, each
born of sacrifice,
each one filled with a
little salt of the life
from which it
flows.
Lynne Remick, Nesconset
Judge's Comments: The lyrical quality of this piece sings from the page. The form reminds me of waves at the beach as they flow in and out.
an
egg is
a simple
ovoid shape
not a perfect
sphere which could
roll away and fall on
the kitchen table splat
a sticky mangled mess
before it's time for
one or two and ham
and cheese with
toast and
jam
John E. Rice, Houston, TX
Judge's Comments: What could be more delicious than, in the morning,
reading about breakfast? We not only picture the scene through this
imagery, but also see the main topic in the ovid shape of the poem.
=============
I
love to eat.
Pies, chocolate, cake
and more. Whenever I
get hot I eat a nice cold
scoop of ice-cream
yummy. The
moist slippery ice-cream
always hits the spot.
I love ice-cream
it is the best
summer's
treat.
Margaret Stearns,Wilmette, IL
Judge's Comments: A sweet scoop of ice cream, with two big bites
taken out of it! A very cute poem.
=============
Immersion
So odd
To
Feel
The pull
Of an ocean
Wide demanding
My presence ever
near
This friend and
foe forever
Churning forever
beautiful forever
Is linked in spirit
to each cell of my being
How is it possible
to put down roots in perpetual
Motion
What is this mysterious
bond to an awesome
Life source life force and liquid grave
Patricia A Tabella, Providence, RI
Judge's Comments: The sailboat shape of this "liquid" poem re-inforces
the oceanic theme. Good use of "water" words and motion throughout.
=============
Blazing Frontiers
A
Dark
Night
Rocket
With tail
Brightly
Blazing
Lifting off
Into the sky
Light mans
Knowledge
Far beyond
All go for
Launch
Ignition
Lift off
Bill Truax, Cedar Hill, TX
Judge's Comments: Simple form, that somehow reflects the silhouette
of the shuttle as it prepares, in a cloud of fire and gas, to lift off
for space.
============
© Sol Magazine July 1999
=============