Sol Magazine's
Poet Laureate 2005 Edition
© 2005 SOL MAGAZINE
http://www.sol-magazine.org
|
FIRST PLACE
Heather Jensen
Cheyenne, WY, USA
Heather Jensen became a member of Sol Magazine in 2003. Her poetry
has appeared in Sol Magazine, High Plains Register, SheMom, and
Butterflies.com. She is both freelance writer and poet, and lives
with her husband, three beautiful children and two freeloading cats in
Cheyenne, Wyoming. She says, “I write because I’m still breathing,
and it’d take an abrupt alteration to that situation to make me stop.” |
| EDITORS’ & JUDGES’ COMMENTS: This ambitious selection of
poetry from Heather Jensen is diverse in topic as well as form. Word
choices and placement are well thought-out and thought provoking, and draw
on poetical techniques of meter, metaphor, image, lyricism, narrative,
alliteration and other effective literary tools. A nice variety of
imagery and forms in these poems. Humor, irony and compassion mark
this poet's work, ranging wide in these six not-so-easy pieces. Each piece
may stand, but still connects to the other work by three threads braided
into a single, fine, frayed strand of yesterday, today and tomorrow.
A sound solid presentation. A subtle feel of irony seems to slide
through the poetry, which is both playful and insightful. The poet
has a masterful grasp of language, and flexes the art of words in every
line; no word is wasted, and many times a word serves more than its original
sole purposes within the song of a poem's whole. Dizzying at times,
diction weaves and bobs through varied thoughts that, somehow, perfectly
splice together at the end to create a cohesion that is, in and of itself,
beautiful. Excellent writing. This poet is well deserving of
the title of Sol Magazine’s 2005 Poet Laureate. |
Battling Autism
Pure sodium is rare and beautiful
To see it though requires a sculptor’s art
You have to slice the oxidized and dull
To glimpse the silver shimmer at the heart
easing
blade across
son seeking
shimmers
My son’s pure soul is rare and tremulous
Corroding in the atmosphere of words
I gently slice remember as I do
Pure sodium is rare and beautiful.
© 2005 Heather Jensen
COMMENTS: This is a fine example of a well-crafted Dorsimbra that
flows well from a stanza of Shakespearean sonnet, to a stanza of free verse,
to a stanza of blank verse. This poem has a mysteriously compelling
quality and tone. Written in a strong voice, first searching, then
grasping exactly, exquisitely crafted with sound echoes and metric measure.
Interesting tapestry weaving elements in nature and attributes of human
nature creates a striking poem that leaves lingering thoughts. Heartfelt,
expressed well, with good use of assonance and consonance. This piece
has the reader catching breath and holding it so as not to disturb the
fragile spell it casts. The poet uses both science and faith to give the
reader a slice of what it is like to deal with autism. The metaphors are
crisp and compelling. Rare and well-chosen words create an atmosphere
of aching beauty, which supports the sensitive subject matter in a perfect
way. The sole introduction of personal ache - "my son" - is so simple,
yet lends so much power to the poem.
Playing Bass
There’s nothing like playing bass.
Canoe yanked hither and yon
Easing out 30-pound test
Making fine tension adjustments
Canoe yanked hither and yon
Altering the pitch of the bow
Making fine tension adjustments
Reeling, awkward with anticipation
Altering the pitch of the bow
Introduce the music, bow to the audience
Reeling, awkward with anticipation
There’s nothing like playing bass.
© 2005 Heather Jensen
COMMENTS: Excellent play linking sport and music in this well done
Pantoum. Precise phrasings and particular word choices couple to create
a compactly constructed portrait, as recurring lines weave in and out of
one another in unexpected and surprising ways. Good metaphor of a
canoe for a bass fiddle. Good use of reiteration with alternating
beats of word music brings the reader on stage, as the rhythm mimics that
of a boat on the water. Full of clever, well thought out, humorous
ambiguity. This poem is a joy to read again and again. This poet can take
bow (bend from the waist) while bowing (pulling ebony and rosined horsehair
across wire strings) in the bow (the forward part) of the canoe - no mean
feat in itself. Delightful. The poet is clever and playful without
losing control of the form. Yet the form recedes into the background as
the poem unfolds. What a treat for the reader to find the metaphor of a
dance in the last stanza. Conversationally casual tone belies a deeper,
almost psychologically interpretative struggle. Classic battleground
of man versus nature takes on different facets under the skillful language
creating an analogy between bass fishing and playing a musical instrument.
Very well done.
Primitive Culture on Toast with a Side of Pork
A Joint Chiefs solution
Denies absolution
So onward and upward they glide;
They’re taking few chances
In vast blue expanses
The current so giddy they ride.
Attack’s grim convergence
Caused native disturbance
Some flinched at the dots on the sun;
While others, enchanted
(And younger still, granted)
Pursuing the flicker did run.
Brave fighters? I wonder
Each dishing out thunder
On people too startled to scream;
They formed a pilaster
And then they flew faster
To drown out the mote and the beam.
© 2005 Heather Jensen
COMMENTS: Successful movement throughout. The poet employs effective
use of structure to help move the eye along. The complicated subject
delightfully melds into a pattern of a good consistent rhyme that accentuates
mood and tone. Off-beat witty poem on today’s society, filled with
twists and turns to entertain readers. Nice use of end-rhyme.
The title is a poem by itself. Here the poet gives us ironic humor using
blatant external rhyme in near-limerick or perhaps "drinking song" format.
The poet holds up a mirror in which the reflection points its accusing
finger at us all. Well done. This poem has rhyme and meter
that both pleases the ear and lends an ironically light tone to an otherwise
serious commentary. Wry title belies the sensitive and
deep nature of the words which follow. Excellent rhythm and rhyme,
without becoming pedantic or repetitive.
$6.50 an Hour, Plus Overtime
Thumbprint smears
under-polished brass,
icy latch sinks, clicks.
Neon reflections warp, rebound
cower beside grimy mullions
Please-don’t-rob-me chimes
tinkle pitiful welcome.
Dishwasher-Wanted placard
crowding out the OPEN sigil
swings, signing this way, this way,
this way to the kitchen
A whiff of airborne grease
decides me.
Don’t blame me
if you can’t hear purpose
ambition, maybe,
in die-cast metal
clattering down silky soapsud sluices,
can’t find nirvana
in the drying element’s
heat-dark eyes.
(the city’s
blue collars live &
dye in bubbles
each translucent film
camouflaging
ennui with cheap
iridescent swirls)
© 2005 Heather Jensen
COMMENTS: Shrewd division of words and phrases with effective use
of word sounds. This poem offers the reader intricate descriptions along
with a vivid portrayal of the working life. Connects through an impressive
combination of images, alliteration, and assonance which add magic to the
work. Engaging title brings the reader right into the work.
Clear picture of the plight of the dishwasher and other blue-collar workers.
Exceptional imaginary throughout, filled with original contrasts such as
rob vs. welcome, onomatopoeia enhances the poem, clever ending. Poem
bubbles like a steaming iron skillet as it provides a feast for the eyes
and ears of the reader. Striking analogy of hope, aspirations and
failure. This poem invites the reader to use every sense, as the
excellent word selection puts sound and imagery into this poem. The poem
ends with a strong metaphor. Gorgeously lush language to describe
a deceptively simple time and place. Wonderful attention to the most
cryptic and often overlooked details.
blackbird trills
alights on snowy bough
icicle snaps
© 2005 Heather Jensen
COMMENTS: Strong visual impact in a multi-dimensional scenario that
begins with one thing, and ends with another. Concisely stitched,
revealing color, season, and sound, each an element of a well designed
haiku. Lovely contrast of colors between blackbird and snow.
Clear, sharp sights and sounds. Crisp, vivid images. This haiku shows
duality in the lively blackbird singing and alighting on the still snow
and ice, reminding the reader that spring breaks the grip of winter and
death. Very nice contrast between the jet of the blackbird and the
purity of the snow. This simple haiku says so much with just a few
words; the idea of the bird snapping the icicle brings to mind so
many other, fresh scenes: perhaps a deer startling in a nearby meadow,
or the bird itself startling at the sound it created and flapping off into
the woods. Very well-done.
pure sun rises
muddy dandelion opens
dusty leaf unfurls
© 2005 Heather Jensen
COMMENTS: This clear nature haiku displays splendid craftsmanship
as well as stunning imagery. Interesting poem with an unexpected
juxtaposition of moist and dry to surprise the reader. Nice summer
image. Good word selection and usage as in: sun = dandelion.
A beautiful picture of the unsullied sun bringing life to the downtrodden
flora. Good use of duality in high and low, pure and sullied. Nice
use of the word "pure" as a descriptive of the sun; wonderful contrast
between the pure of the sun and the mud/dust of the dandelion, as well
as implying the democratic nature of the sun - it will shine on pure and
impure alike.
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