Sol Magazine's
Poet Laureate 2005 Edition
© 2005 SOL MAGAZINE
http://www.sol-magazine.org


FOURTH PLACE

Avonne Griffin
Greer, SC, USA 

Avonne Griffin

Avonne Griffin has been a member of Sol Magazine since March of 2002.  Her work has also appeared in Emotions, Le Mewz, American West, This Hard Wind, Writer's Quill, Times Ex, and the Austin International Poetry Festival's 2001 a-di-verse-city-odyssey.  Originally from Southern California, Avonne currently lives in South Carolina.  About writing she says, "I write because life is too full and too glorious to look at with naked eyes. I need metaphors for a lens and cadence for my stride or I'll lose my balance."
EDITORS’ & JUDGES’ COMMENTS:  This poet's contribution to this competition is a refreshing delight that demonstrates talented craftsmanship and skill with forms.  This poetry is clearly written from the heart.  The recurrence of duplicate sounds at predictable intervals elaborates the narrative verse, emphasizing its melodic quality.  Avonne brings mystery as well as nature to her poetry.  Extreme care in word choices is obvious in this poet's writing;  very specific words are used to convey very specific emotions.  Unique twists keep a reader guessing.

Sweet Sorrow

How grudgingly I help you pack your bag,
accept small gifts you sense I have admired --
then stop and note a certain selfless lag
when underneath performance you grow tired.

But still you greet each day with eager eyes,
transcend my abject greed for more of you --
pretending not to hear my stifled cries
admitted when I think it's true, it's true!

Simplicity extends to reach the heart,
profoundly moves to dole emotions slow.
From you I've learned that leaving is an art;
each gesture paints a thousand words I know.

How willingly I sit here by your side --
so humbled by your life, so filled with pride.

© 2005  Avonne Griffin

COMMENTS:  Well crafted English Sonnet sporting unforced cadence. The poet implements precise use of rhythm and end rhyme. Nicely done.  The rhyme scheme melds individual lines into a pattern, influencing and intensifying from stanza to stanza.  The poem paints numerous conjectures of the situation for the reader.  This is a poignant piece nicely presented.  Nice use of very specific adverbs to clearly illustrate feelings, such as "grudgingly."  Heart-aching portrayal of the unconquerable, with a clear-eyed look at the endings of things as we know them.
tree snake drooping
below scarlet sumac leaves
cardinal nest

© 2005  Avonne Griffin

COMMENTS:  Vigorous use of colorful images added to this trim presentation make this haiku a rare treasure.   The twist in last line of this poem changes peaceful to dangerous, not only a great attention getting technique, but also a way of pointing out the duality of nature.  Thoughtful, clear, ingenious writing.  Beautiful contrast between the imagined green of the tree snake, the scarlet of the leaves, and the red of the cardinal standing out from the dark brown of its nest.  A dizzying array of contrasting color that all combines to create a lovely instant snapshot.
apple blossom floats
down gutter into drain hole
alligator blinks

© 2005  Avonne Griffin

COMMENTS:  Skilled use of duality. The unexpected turn of the last line is charming.  Photographic imagery.  Well textured haiku moves from soft to rough with few words.  Precise word-choices make this succinct piece memorable.  Interesting contrast between the delicacy of an apple blossom and the concrete reality of a drain.  The end has a startling twist.  Good use of contrast, both in color and imagery.
 

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